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Some stuff we'd thought up, but never got around to doing (and, alas, will probably never be done, on account of our having grown up and become "adults").  (Compare and contrast with some of the stuff we've actually done...)

This one would be perfect for a political rally or outdoor speech by a televangelist:

Acquire one of those helium radio controlled blimps, but retrofit it into the shape of a giant penis... and install a whipped cream payload.  Have it hover over to the podium and unload.

(Extra credit: the Penis Cam - install one of those radio controlled mini video cameras in the thing, so you can be your own Dickwitness News and record the action!)

I've always wanted to make my own "ultra nature walk" by going to a local park and, along its hiking trails, putting up - species identification style - laminated Playboy centerfolds.  Below these - also laminated - should be each young lady's "turn-ons" and "turn-offs."

Somewhat related:

Buy a goodly quantity of cheap walkie-talkies.  Hide these all around the play area of a daycare or kindergarten.  When the little kiddies are out for recess, broadcast (repeatedly):

"Fuck.  F-U-C-K.  Fuck.  I saw my principal FUCK my teacher.  FUCK."

And somewhat related to that:

Get a few of those canned air horns the obnoxious bastards use at ballgames.  Cannibalize some old RC toys to rig up little remote controllers for them.  Plant these around your neighborhood asshole's yard and, at three in the morning, randomly set them off for a few seconds each.

Get a box of M80s, some wire, a bunch of model rocket engine igniters, and a board with a bunch of little switches.  Go to a local pumpkin patch, and embed various and sundry pumpkins with the (wired) explosives.  Wire each to a switch.  While playing an appropriate piece of music (e.g. Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture) on the biggest boombox you can find, use the switches to detonate the pumpkins in time to the music.


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