Horse Balls

(This tale comes to Pludie courtesy a dear friend who passed away a few years back.  Thanks, Dick!  We miss you!)

Many years ago, my friend was attending college in a nearby city, noted for small parks (or grassy areas, like traffic circles) with statues.  One of this city's traffic circles featured a large statue of a horse - a very anatomically correct statue of a very male horse.

One night, students at one of the city's colleges got some bright blue paint, and so colored two elements of the critter's anatomy. Next morning, traffic at that circle was a mess!

This, of course, raised the ire of city officials, from the mayor down through the highway department...  so they sent out a detachment of Public Works crewmen, with the job of cleaning the horse's anatomy (probably not the best job on that day's duty roster).

This, in and of itself, would have been enough of a spectacle.  Trouble is, it was a brass statue.  Over time, such things develop a nice patina.  Paint it and then remove the paint, and it gets bright and shiny... so next morning's traffic was just as diddled, as motorists got an eyeful of two big bright, shiny brass balls.

The mayor's office once again ordered the city crew out to fix the problem.  There must have been some shovels needing leaning on that day, or a truck needing sleeping in, because, rather than just polishing the rest of the statue, they decided the remedy would be just to paint the horse's anatomy green.

The trouble, of course, is that patina is a nice, delicate color - almost a texture - which statues and such achieve over time, and is not easily (if at all) matched with paint.  Next morning, as expected, the bediddled traffic was treated to the sight of a horse with bright GREEN balls.  (Finally, I suspect, they came to their senses and cleaned the entire statue.)