Pludie - "Provisioning Charcuterie Chicanery Since 2001"

Off to See the Lizard

I have a two and a half inch tattoo of a green and yellow lizard. It came to me one Saturday morning in February of '93 as I was nursing a hangover, "Wow! I've never had a tattoo before." So, I jumped into my car and literally headed to the nearest tattoo parlor.

[Lizard] I walked in, looked at the pictures on the walls, and chose the lizard. I could hear the tattoo artist behind a divider talking to his roached-looking girlfriend. They had the television going and something about guns was on. I heard him tell her: "That's a .44, if I nailed your feet to the ground and shot you with it, the only thing left in this room would be your toes and a big hole in the wall."

"Hi," I said, "I'm interested in getting a tattoo." The guy just stared at me. He was about 6'4" with a satanic-looking beard, long black hair, and, of course, was covered with tattoos. "Can I get the little lizard?" He stared at me for about another half hour and said, "I don't care, it's your body."

Fifteen minutes later, it was done. To this day, no one in my family knows I have one. I wanted to get a top hat and cane put on it but keep putting it off.

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