Pludie - "Provisioning Charcuterie Chicanery Since 2001"

Tuna Time!

Unless you've been to an establishment before, you can never really be sure what kind of place it is. Whether is be the clientele, the menu, or both. It's always good to try a little taste of the cuisine before ordering. This is even true in the case of mall food.

Not too long ago, I was at the food court on my lunch break. I stopped by a well-known sandwich shop and got in line behind a couple of fairly attractive young women. As I perused the menu overhead, contemplating my order, I heard the girl behind the counter ask one of the young women what she would like. The woman had been talking with her friend and couldn't quite seem to make up her mind as to what she wanted.

"Um, hmmmmm," she said. I knew that this was going to take awhile. Then she asked it. The question. Have you ever said something and only after, when you hear yourself do you realize how awkward the translation from your brain to your mouth has been? When I was ten, I was in an Italian restaurant with my father. I ordered spaghetti and meatballs. When they brought it out, the meatballs were each the size of my head. I exclaimed, rather loudly, "Look at the size of those balls!" I meant to say "meatballs," but the combination of excitement and a Freudian slip made for a rather uncomfortable dinner.

Back to the girls. Finally, Miss Indecisive 2005 had an idea. Rather loudly (not unlike myself in the Italian restaurant) she asked the girl behind the counter "Can I taste your tuna?" There was a pause and her friend made this high squeaking sound and quickly turned away from both Miss Indecisive and the very red-faced sandwich-maker. Meanwhile, the girl asking the question hasn't quite figured out what was so funny. Having the sense of humor (and class) of your average twelve year old, I had to turn away from her myself. I could feel my eyes begin to tear up and tried desperately to stifle my laugh with a sudden "coughing fit." The fact that my "cough" sounded like hysterical laughter probably didn't fool anyone. This only made the tuna taster's friend laugh harder and quickly walk away from the shop, losing herself somewhere in the food court.

Now I am alone with the tuna taster and the, um, tastee? I looked back and forth between the two and said the only thing I could under the circumstances, "I'd like to watch if that's okay."

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